When I first heard the concept of self-censorship, I was deeply struck by the fact that I had never heard it from anyone before. The first time was through Silo in 2006, and the context was a conversation about how the Message expands in an attack against censorship and self-censorship, and that attack against self-censorship is the development of a willingness to abandon this system and create a different vision of how things are and how one should act toward them. At that time, it was just a word, and some years later, it's much more than that and has a deeper and more expansive meaning. I imagine the word has been used before, and Silo himself probably used it before, but the important point is that my recognition began that day. I'm talking about an internal recognition of my self-censorship, and as he rightly said, censorship has weakened enormously over time, but self-censorship hasn't. This whole context is interesting, even though it's a bit redundant. Sometimes a word or phrase can change an entire behavior, or at least produce an internal shift and an observation that's initially superficial and then more internal. That's more or less how my study of self-censorship began. The hardest part has been the effort not to judge, criticize, or degrade self-censorship. Yes, it's clearly useless at this moment, but it's more important to understand it than to judge it. And in that effort, I've been able to see and experience that this is actually the best way to open up that "disposition" to change. By sometimes only momentarily suspending the tendency toward judgment, an opening is produced within me, and I was able to see that what was most repressed in self-censorship was the potential for intuition and the potential for unbiased and free observation of external and internal phenomena. Let's see if I can explain this a little more poetically.
“Cafet completely abandoned himself to the experience he was having. Thousands of miles from where he had started, in a strange, wonderfully real, and incomprehensible dream. On a journey to the highest desires that had not been at all what he had imagined. Cafet followed Graciela, connecting with the intuition that she would take him where he needed to go. There are times when the absurd and the extraordinary blend in an impossible-to-predict way, and all that remains is to follow that tenuous thread without too many questions, without too much caution, and with enough confidence that one will arrive where one must go.”
This paragraph is from a story I wrote based on a dream. Dreams are absurd and special precisely because there is no censorship, because there is no guardian of the contents; they just flow, and one participates in the most extravagant, extraordinary, immoral, inspired, etc. situations, and self-censorship disappears…
This is only an approximation of the subject, and I have used the dream only as an example. It's neither possible nor advisable to transfer it to waking life, but it is important to understand how this mechanism operates and how, little by little, without being extravagant or extraordinary, or immoral and/or inspired, one can gradually release one's own censorship, especially regarding one's own content, especially regarding one's own conceptions, especially because intuitions are more interesting than schemes. And by letting go of all this, insights emerge about how systems are set up. If one notices the tendency and observes it without compulsions, it tends to not occupy the central space of our actions in the world, and by not occupying that space, something different begins to manifest. In the best of cases, a void is created, and that void gives meaning because it comes from the deepest part of the human being.
The attacks against self-censorship are not warlike in nature but rather efforts to silence great compulsions that distance us from that sacred thing within and around us. Undoubtedly, the efforts in this direction are worthwhile.
