Peco

 

At my age, it is rare to make new friends. Most of my friendships are ones that have been established over time, growing out of innumerable shared experiences, similar situations, interests that more or less converge, etc.

None of that was true with Peco. I met her through a group that Rafael Edwards formed in response to the pandemic in 2020, a group he regularly participated in because of the studies we were doing and the affinity that existed among all the participants. Peco joined shortly after the group formed and for inexplicable reasons, I felt an immediate affinity with her. I already knew her by name from decades before, since at the beginning of the seventies, her brother Tomas and I were close friends and cronies.

Peco and I never met in person until last year, April 2022, when I visited Chile. Rafa and I had lunch with her at their mutually preferred Chinese restaurant, and it was a very simple meeting, with depth in what we talked about, and I knew immediately that we would be friends forever.

"Why do they call you 'Peco'?" I asked her a couple of months ago in our Zoom meeting.

Because of "Pecos Bill," ** she answered immediately with a huge smile.

Quickly realizing that I hadn't understood, she explained to me that when she was a child, she liked to play like the boys, so her parents bought her "Pecos Bills," the Chilean nickname for little boys' jeans back then, probably in imitation of North American blue jeans.

So, without any fuss, Peco explained her nickname to me, and I couldn't resist asking her more questions. After all, she was a person I had just met, and I could see her in her descriptions and in everything we said about her after the Pecos Bill thing had been clarified. What I most admire about her is her ability to be simple without trying to be. If she did not understand something, she would say so. If something seemed right to her, she would say so. If something seemed wrong to her, she also said so with no problem. Peco is and was transparent.

I say “is and was” because yesterday they gave me the sad news that Peco has left us for another time and another space due to a car accident. I didn't know how to react to the news. It made want very much to weep, something that I have not done for anyone who has departed up to now. I told myself many times that this was not possible. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Peco. I was just getting to know her. It can't be, I told myself over and over again.

Little by little I calmed down, but I couldn't keep from recognizing how much it surprised me that Peco had become such a strong part of my life. I'm not surprised often and it's been good. I have discovered something important inside of me that I still don't understand very well but that I am not trying to understand either. I have the intuition that it goes in the direction where events and feelings meet and logic and intellectual comprehension are left aside, where we can't explain facts that seem so common and absolutely certain for all human beings who have ever lived, are living and will live on this planet. Death is a sure thing, at least the death of our physical body. But knowing that did not give me any comfort. I felt great sadness over Peco's departure and I stayed in that state for a long time until Fern, our dog, came to lick my face to tell me to please take her for a walk.

I went for a walk with Fern, basically because I needed it more than she did, but it was cold and dark. Suddenly, the clouds dissolved and a beautiful, bright full moon lit up the whole sky. I looked at the moon and saw Peco grinning from ear to ear. That made me laugh too, and then and there I was able to say goodbye to her, as her face told me that all was well. Over and over again I looked up at the moon, and I had the feeling that from now on, every new moon I see will have Peco's face and Peco's smile.

I am sure that for many, Peco has been an incredible, deeply appreciated and beloved friend, mother, and grandmother. For me, she is the last friend I have made, and I will remember her forever with her full moon smile and her children's Pecos Bills - a child who undoubtedly remained in the past that was transformed into a woman who, in addition to being a mother, daughter, friend and grandmother, has been an exceptional and inspiring messenger.


PHOTO BY RAFAEL EDWARDS

TRANSLATION BY TRUDI LEE RICHARDS


** Pecos Bill, one of the most representative mythical figures from the American cowboys, was invented by writer Edward J. O'Reilly in 1923.

They say that Pecos Bill lived near the Mexican border. From the the time of his creation, he has been romanticized as the greatest cowboy of the American West. Legend has it that, as a child, he fell from the diligence in which he was traveling and was found by a family of coyotes near the so-called Pecos River (southwest Texas). There he grew up, and while riding his horse managed to chase away a tornado. He is also credited with bringing rain from California to Texas during a dry spell, thereby forming the Gulf of Mexico.

In 1948, in the Disney movie Melody Time, an animated short was made in which Roy Rogers sings the famous song recounting the life of this cowboy. This musical theme was also arranged in Spanish by Luis Aguilé as a children's song. (Translated from the Spanish wikipedia entry: https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pecos_Bill)

WE*

The night I read my friend Karen's essay titled “The Rupture,” or“The Breach,” I couldn’t sleep from the impact it made on me. Her words plunged me into a moment of total recognition and inspiration, and I had a deep desire to project this comprehension into my present and my future.Since then I have felt it very important to understand this experience. At that moment I could only write a very heartfelt poem, but I also realized that what the experience gave me was much more than that. Over time, comprehensions and searches shared with others regarding the theme began to take shape - at least in me - giving me a suspicion that this profound rupture is inciting a response that will become the binding element of an identity that will make us truly part of a whole, of a human race, going beyond the classical definitions. I intuit that a "we" is not only an explanation that is in accordance with the times, but something that could really develop into a new form of relationship among human beings who truly comprehend that we are a single species and that we exist because others exist.

Very synthetically, and in my own words, I will summarize part of what Karen wrote about the rupture and how that has affected me up to now:
At one point in human history, thousands of years ago, a break took place in our concept of the human race, a division appeared that had not existed before. Patriarchy arose, and with it a gap between the feminine and the masculine. This led all of humanity down a path of great violence, of men imposing their power over others, especially over women. It was a period in which the goddesses were displaced by male gods and the most spiritual and essential attributes were also displaced by an obsession with conquest, territorial expansion and “man’s” dominance over other species.

But putting all this aside, those original attributes, the inner mental and psychosocial sensibilities that existed during the time of the matriarchies, were blocked, and are now absent, though not completely lost. It is imperative that we rescue them and give them universal validity, because this yawning gap between the masculine and the feminine in our human species is preventing us from continuing an ascending spiritual process and, in particular, is not allowing us to progress in overcoming revenge.

And for this very reason, it is essential that we reflect on the enormity of the concept that we are a single human race. The feminine and the masculine are aspects of a single essence. I would almost go so far as to say that if we were more attentive to our internal world, we would see that we carry the masculine and the feminine “within us” in unequal proportions. If we could come to a balance between these two forces, which constitute us as a human race, we would advance in leaps and bounds, and I feel that it is in this direction that our future as one humanity must go.

*Nosotres - a term in Spanish for “we” that includes both the feminine (nosotras) and the masculine (nosotros)

ILLUSTRATION BY RAFAEL EDWARDS

Translation and editing by Trudi Lee Richards

 

Compulsions

When we say that in general we do not choose, it is quite a bold statement and not accepted by society. We have been taught that choosing is what we do. Society tells us that we have options and it is true. We "choose" according to our compulsions or, in other words, our compulsions choose for us. Sometimes, after repeated failures, we can intuitively grasp these compulsions at work within us and have the realization that there really are no options but to follow them, or not to follow them... This is where our first choice might be made: not to follow my compulsions. And it's a very good option despite the difficulties that arise because if I don't follow my compulsions, how do I do it then? . What can I do differently that is not the opposite? (by compulsion too).

It is a complicated topic due to the enormous number of assumptions that are at stake when I decide to "do something". These assumptions have a moral charge in many cases and one will say, for example: "It's the right thing to do and that's why I'm doing it" but later, what was the right thing ceases to be the right thing to do or is no longer interesting to me and I look for a justification to abandon that line of action and a new compulsion appears almost by magic and there I follow it and continue repeating actions and justifications for actions.

After giving this matter a lot of thought, I have come to a simple conclusion. Usually simplicity indicates the optimal, so I've followed it. I can observe my compulsions, which is difficult despite the elegant conclusion. I can observe carefully and with more effort, I can separate without justifications or condemnations.

This observation over time becomes more and more interesting because it takes the force out of my compulsions and I begin to see and treat myself differently. It is a separation that makes me understand myself from another perspective and I begin to generate responses that are less and less compulsive, that need less and less justification and in simple words, I feel that I am more coherent, or at least I am on that path.


ILLUSTRATION BY RAFAEL EDWARDS

Translation and editing by Trudi Lee Richards

Uncertainty

 

It can be argued ad infinitum that everything is true or that nothing is true, and that to “predict” essentially means just what its Latin roots - prae (before) and dicere (to say) - suggest: to say something will happen before it happens, but without any guarantee that it will happen. Even so, it is almost impossible to stop predicting based almost entirely on the fact that something has happened before and is continuing to happen. This is how prediction models keep being built, and how we keep adjusting our predictions about the climate and everything else we know to be cyclical, which curiously ends up being EVERYTHING. I say "everything" because it is easy to observe that we are immersed in a planetary structure that moves according to cycles and rhythms. And if we move beyond the planetary context and just look at what happens on the earth and with ourselves, we still end up seeing everything in terms of cycles and rhythms.

Implicit in the concept of cycle is the idea of ​​repetition, and everything that is repeated can be projected into the future without much problem or doubt. Thus we tell ourselves that tomorrow exists and also the day after tomorrow, and in a few hours night will fall and then day will come. This tendency to project keeps us feeling secure because it turns out to be relatively accurate; nevertheless we do encounter surprises from time to time, and then our certainties falter and uncertainty appears.

Uncertainty usually causes us problems because it doesn't fit into our predictable world. This year, 2020, is full of uncertainty, and of course there will be many predictions of all kinds explaining the reason for these anomalies.

The opinion makers and those who do not believe in them will be divided equally trying to explain, and to explain to themselves, everything that does not fit and produces uncertainty. The result of all this will probably be to produce even more uncertainty. After all, no one really wants to admit that it’s impossible to coherently explain all these rampant transformations. Unless you deeply study how changes (of all kinds) operate in the individual, in society and on the planet... just to begin with.

Personally, I am inclined to think that it is neither important nor correct to keep trying to explain what happens based on what has happened. Because if I examine things closely, these predictions are only correct if they are framed in terms of the general and not the particular. Earthquakes in a specific place can be explained by geological and geographical studies, etc., but that kind of understanding does not make it possible to predict them. Viruses cannot be predicted either, and viruses are sometimes not well understood. Not to mention social uprisings, or even less, economic collapse.

Those who dedicate themselves to prediction are still in the dark about the rhythms of processes. Anyway, I have my serious doubts about how so many experts in everything can be constantly adjusting their predictions and forgetting the previous ones.

Uncertainty is not resolved through predictions or explanations. In fact, I don’t think it can be resolved at that level at all. I do think that the "uncertain" can be extraordinarily positive, in that it can push us down untraveled paths, helping us gain in understanding and in true certainty, which I locate internally. If I only always walk the same path, I never have the opportunity to learn and to see what I have not seen yet, to experience new sensations and new ideas. I limit myself and I limit others.

On the other hand, if I see uncertainty as something that opens up new possibilities, I have the opportunity to see everything that does not fit within the predictable in a new way. Then without a doubt I lose my security and gain in internal experience. This is a good arrangement in a world that is increasingly in crisis, where the old explanations no longer ring true to the tired ears of a world that yearns for total renewal.


ILLUSTRATION BY RAFAEL EDWARDS

Translation and editing by Trudi Lee Richards